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What We Tested This Week: Isner Mile Beard Care Kit
Who This Is Perfect For: Anyone with a beard who wants to look and feel good
I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Growing a beard takes more than, well, simply growing some facial fuzz.
There’s a fine line to be toed when one opts to enter the realm of beardedness. Stay the course and you can end up looking like a Hollywood stud or literary god. Stumble, though, and it’s all Tom-Hanks-in-Castaway vibes.
While I’m by no means in the former category (yet), I was well on my way into the latter. That is, until I found the Isner Mile Beard Care kit.
I look back at my early years in the beard game and shudder. Long story short: For a good few years, I was walking around with a patchy semblance of a beard; wiry hairs were growing in random patches across my chinny-chin-chin. It was terrible. I’d see other bearded men — I’m not even talking the Clooneys of the world, but everyday hipsters of Brooklyn — walking around with full, beautiful scruffiness and would think, “What the hell am I doing wrong?”
Soon after, I discovered beard-grooming products like oils and beard balms, which can help the health, texture, and appearance of beards in need.
In the ensuing half-dozen or so years, I’ve been like the Goldilocks of beard-grooming supplies. Because here’s another truth bomb: A lot of beard-care kits suck! Some balms, for instance, are extremely oily, leaving a greasy residue in your beard that continuously rubs off all day. Others are more like a fleeting thought, seemingly gone before you finish massaging it in, leaving you with a dry and unmoored beard.
That's certainly not the case with the Isner Mile Beard Care Kit. It comes with everything you need to take your beard from Hagrid to Zeus.
First up: The beard wash and beard conditioner. These are two product categories that, before discovering Isner Mile, I had never tried before. But, let me tell you ... not only do the suds-filled formulas feel amazing while in the shower, but they both combine to work wonders on a beard. One week into using the beard wash and beard conditioner, my beard was about 50 times softer, and about 100 times more badass.
My favorite part of the kit, though, is the balm. Like I said before, a lot of balms can be super oily. That means not only a day filled with bearded greasiness but also zero hold when styling your beard, leaving you meandering into Castaway status. Cool for actors and, let’s say, Vikings; not so cool for the everyday office worker.
But not Isner Mile. No, this beard balm is the perfect consistency: It rubs down to a buttery salve that’s easily absorbed by your beard, giving it superb hold for you to style and maintain a clean-looking beard. I also like to use the beard oil before I go to sleep, ensuring my beard gets as much beauty rest as I do. And, unlike other brands that think men need to smell like the forest and other, you know, manly smells, Isner Mile’s products are unscented, if not just a bit minty for the so fresh and so clean, clean smell.
And the kit also comes with a great comb, which helps spread the balm and oil through the beard while helping you keep it looking nice and neat. Oh, and if you’re never felt the soothing feeling of brushing your beard, you have not lived!
In sum, my beard is softer, fuller, and looks a hell of a lot more dapper since I’ve been using the Isner Mile Beard Kit. So if you, or someone you hold dear (say, your dad, since it is the holiday gifting season, after all), has a beard, this grooming kit is vital for a beard (and life) fully realized.
Plus, it's way cheaper than going to the barber to keep it looking fresh.
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